Touched By An Angel

'Mommy?'

'Yes, dear, what is it?' How am I gonna pay all these bills this month, Marti thought as she responded absently to Kari's pull on her sweater.

'Mommy, what would you say if I said I'd been touched by an angel?'

Why does the cable bill go up every month? Who invents these bogus charges? 'What's that, dear?'

'What if I'd been touched by an angel?' Kari insisted.

'I'd say get a photo, honey, and then we'd be rich. We could go on TV and all the showbiz weasels would kiss our butts and hand us buckets of money.' And I could smack those self-righteous touched-by-an-angel-folks right in the kisser too, Marti finished to herself. Damn, but she hated those churchy folk.

'Can I use the camera then, Mommy?'

Marti looked down at her own little angel--well, today anyway. Some days she was a perfect little demon. 'What?'

'Can I use the camera then? I wanna take a picture of the angel!' Those big amber eyes smiled up at her winningly.

'Honey, you know you're not allowed to use the camera. Daddy's little toy--and he doesn't like to share it.' Why am I raising two children, Marti thought for the millionth time. And why does he always have to buy things like that when we don't have enough money to pay our bills?

'But, Mommy--'

'No.'    Kari pouted in her most practiced manner. To no avail--not that Marti was immune to its winsome charm, but right now the complex art of juggling the outstanding bills with their meager incoming checks occupied the uppermost reaches of her cranium. Damn, there was just no way their cash could stretch far enough this month. No, they would have to cancel the cable, Monday Night Football or no Monday Night Football, because if they had to ask Dan's folks for money again--

'Well, what if you took a picture of it, Mommy?' Kari had not given up, just changed tactics.

'What? Take a picture of what? The angel? Oh, honey, there's no angel.'

'But there is! And you said we could make a lot of money with a picture of it,' Kari reminded her, smiling in triumph. 'Please, Mommy, please, it will only take a minute!'

Marti sighed, but she put the sheaf of bills down. 'All right, but I highly doubt we'll be seeing any angel, young lady. It better have something for dinner if I'm going to believe it's divinely inspired.' But Kari had already run toward her little bedroom, pigtails swinging behind her. Marti reached for the Canon. It sat on the top shelf of the dining room, out of the range of little hands like Kari's and her friends'. Ridiculous thing--too much money they could have spent on something useful, and the photo paper! As if the camera itself hadn't gouged their pocket enough. A monument to Dan's need for instant gratification, Marti scowled. She swung it by its strap as she traced Kari's tiny footsteps.

Kari was peering gingerly into the depths of her closet. 'Where's your angel, honey?' Marti asked, almost smiling in spite of her grumpiness. Her daughter seemed tensely electrified. Marti had to smother her childish desire to poke Kari in the ribs and see her jump. 'It's in the closet?'

'It was...' Kari sounded dismayed. She waved her hand inside the darkness of the closet but seemed to encounter no obstacle. Marti reminded herself for the hundredth time that they ought to put a light in there. After all, the closet was half the size of her corner room. 'It was here! I think maybe it's hiding,' Kari suggested hopefully, looking up to her mother with pleading eyes.

Marti sighed again, suddenly tired. She bent over Kari and peered into the dark. 'Sorry, I don't see anything, sweetheart--but ooh, do I smell something. Did you leave a sandwich in here? God, it stinks.'

'But it was here, Mommy.'

'Maybe, but I think right now you better do some cleaning, closet cleaning. It smells like something died in here, no kidding.'

'But--'

'Now, young lady, or you'll be sitting in your room tonight instead of watching TV.' Kari hung her head but she didn't argue further. There was a look of determined stubbornness on her face that seemed to be directed at the closet rather than her mother. Marti felt a twinge of worry. 'What did your angel look like, honey?'

Kari still stared into the closet, little fists clenched by her sides. 'Celia,' she said without looking up.

Ouch. That was no good. Marti felt tenderness flood her heart. She bent down beside her daughter, looping her arms around the small waist. 'I know it's very upsetting, Kari. The terrible thing that happened to your little friend. It's very hard to understand the awful things that can happen in the world. But you do understand, don't you? You know she won't be coming back?'

Kari nodded, but her eyes still searched the depths of the closet. 'Celia was killed by a bad man and that's why we should never get into a car with a stranger even if he has candy or a puppy.'

Marti winced. It was like the Bible recitations she had to memorize as a child. Probably just as meaningless, too. She had to know it was important though. 'I know you get tired of hearing it, Sweetie, but it is very important.'

'I know.'

'Well, I just want to be sure that you know...how bad...how serious it can be. The world. I couldn't stand to lose you, I love you so much.'

Kari finally looked up. Her eyes were kind. 'I know, Mommy. And I won't go with strange men who take your clothes and then kill you and hide your body so no one finds it.' She smiled, trying to reassure her mother. Marti shuddered and hugged her daughter fiercely. I would never let you go, she thought, never.

When she felt Kari start to squirm, she stood up again. 'Well, still, you need to clean up that closet. There's something in there making it smell. Either you let Pogo run around in there and he pooped, or you left some kind of food in there. Okay?'

'I will, Mommy.' Kari watched her mother turn, still swinging the Canon, and walk back up the hallway. When she could hear her turn on the radio in the dining room, Kari said sarcastically, 'You can come out now.'

Celia seemed to ooze from the pile of clothes in the corner, but she looked and smelled just as solid as she had when she crawled through the window last night. 'I couldn't let her see me.'

'Why not? Now my Mommy thinks I'm looney tooney.'

'I don't think I'm an angel anyway.'

Kari snorted impatiently. 'You died, you came back, you're an angel. It's just like on TV.'

'No wings? I kinda wanted wings.'

'They would look pretty,' Kari agreed. They both thought sadly of how pretty they would have looked. 'Oh, I know!' Kari had an inspiration, 'You have to earn them! You do nice things and then you get them, like in the Girl Scouts. It was in that movie my mommy likes at Christmas about that guy who did stuff and then he was like dead but he wasn't, so he got to see everything when he was dead--'

'But what about the wings?'

'I'm getting to it. The angel guy in the movie he didn't have wings because he was still saving up for them.'

'I don't see how that works.'

Kari puzzled over that. 'Well, I guess, maybe...when you do something nice...maybe people give you money.' She shrugged. 'Wanna play horsies?'

'I don't know,' Celia answered. 'I feel kind of tired.'

'You need a nice hot bath,' Kari said, thinking about what her mother would say at a time like this. 'Maybe it would get rid of the smell too, I mean, not to be mean, but you do kind of smell...funny. And then the blood would wash off better, too.' She patted her friend's head gingerly where the blood still clotted her hair. The washcloth hadn't helped all that much.

'I don't know,' Celia repeated. 'I'm just so hungry,'

'But you didn't even eat the sandwich I brought you,' Kari scolded. She rescued the plate out of the closet and thrust it before her friend. 'One bite!'

'It just didn't taste right,' Celia said apologetically. 'Maybe angels need a different kind of food.'

'Tastes fine to me,' Kari said between mouthfuls.

'Well, do you think maybe you can find something else for me to eat?'

Kari sighed, just like she'd heard her mother do a hundred million times. 'Why can't you go home? You know, I bet your mom would be real glad to see you.'

Celia shook her head. 'I went to her first, last night. I woke her up like I usually do, but she just screamed and screamed, so I ran away.'

'Well, maybe if you go and see her in the daytime she won't be so scared.'
Celia shrugged. Scaring your mom--really scaring your mom--wasn't so much fun. Kari paused, then said, 'You can't stay here forever. My mom will notice.'

'Not if I hide when she comes. She won't see me.'

'She already smells you,' Kari reminded her. 'If she sees you and gets as scared as your mom, what will I do? She won't let me watch TV for a week.' The thought silenced them for a moment. 'I suppose we could use one of those little pine trees. My dad has a bunch of them hanging in the garage, for spare. Then my closet will be pine-scented fresh. I'll be right back.' Kari pushed off the bed and jumped to the floor.

'Don't forget some food,' Celia whispered after her. She closed the door behind her friend and glanced listlessly around the tiny room. After a minute, Celia walked over to Pogo's Habitrail and watched him spin his wheel around like a maniac.

* * *

'I'm back!' Kari burst through the door with her usual manic energy. Celia jumped back in alarm, hiding her hands behind her back instinctively, although they were empty. 'Look! Pine-scented freshness.' Kari twirled the little green cardboard tree before Celia's eyes. 'But you really will need to take a bath soon. You can sneak in with me tonight.' Kari hung the freshener in the closet. 'I hope that helps, it's pretty strong.' She turned back to her friend. 'So, whadda ya wanna play? Or do you wanna read comics? I have the new Scary Godmother one.' Kari picked up the stack of comics from her dresser, pausing to tap on the Habitrail in her always vain attempt to keep Pogo awake during the day. 'Hey, sleepyhead! Wake up!' Bang, bang, bang--nothing. 'Pogo!' Kari set down the comics and lifted the lid of the cage. Behind her, Celia slipped silently into the closet. 'Hey, Pogo, wake up, boy! Out of bed, sleepyhead.' Kari poked the shredded newspaper but Pogo wasn't in there. She leaned back to scan the myriad tubes radiating from the main chamber. Hmmph. Nothing.

'Celia, did you let Pogo out?' Kari asked, turning around. No Celia. She walked to the closet and pulled the door back open. 'Celia!'

From the darkness, a rustle. 'I'm--I'm sorry.'

'It's all right, we just have to find him, before he gets out of the room and off into the kitchen or something. That one time he crawled under the dishwasher, he wouldn't come out for three days. Boy, was my dad mad!'

'I--I sort of let him out, b-b-but--'

'Yeah? Well, did you see where he went?' Kari was already looking into the netherworld under the bed. 'C'm'ere Pogo! Hey, boy!'

Celia took a hesitant step out of the closet. 'Um, I mean...I mean... I'm really really sorry, but I couldn't help it, I really couldn't, I don't want you to be mad at me, you're my only friend now and--' but Celia was overcome by the flow of tears and covered her face with her cold little hands.

Kari brushed off her knees and stood up, hands on hips. 'What did you do with Pogo?'

'I didn't mean to!' Kari continued to stare stonily at her. Celia turned her back to her friend. 'I really didn't mean to do it but--I ate him!'

'What!' Kari grabbed Celia and spun her around. 'You ate my hamster!'

'I didn't mean to!'

'How could you eat little Pogo!' Anger lost way to sorrow, sorrow to tears. 'Now we can't even have a funeral, like we did for Snowball.' Kari wiped the tears from her cheeks, but more quickly followed them.

'I didn't mean to, it just sort of happened. I was just so hungry and it's the first thing that sounded--good,' Celia finished lamely. 'I'm really sorry, Kari. I am. I know it doesn't bring him back, but I am. And if I can make it up--'

'How?' Kari sniffled but she was listening.

Celia thought about it. 'I think I still have my allowance in my piggy bank. I could sneak in at night and get it and get you another hamster. It's not the same, I know,' she added quickly, 'But then you won't be lonely.'

'I suppose.'

'And I didn't get a funeral either, so it's not too terrible.'

'You did,' Kari countered. 'I was there. I wore my navy blue church dress.'

Celia looked surprised. 'How did they have a funeral without me?'

Kari chewed her lip. 'Well, it was kind of different. There wasn't any coffin, just people saying things about how nice you were and such a sweet little girl--they didn't know you very well, did they?' Kari laughed.

'Ha, ha,' Celia responded, pretending to be offended, but smiling at her friend.

'I was really sad thinking about not seeing you again.'

'Did you cry?'

'Yes. But then there was cake and lasagna and cookies and all kinds of stuff, so we pigged out big time.'

'Must have been nice,' Celia said wistfully.

* * *

Kari rubbed her eyes sleepily, then smiled. Saturday morning! And Saturday morning, rain or shine, late night or early, good times or bad--Saturday morning meant pancakes, hot, golden brown pancakes, with real maple syrup from Granny Elizabeth's farm in Vermont. It was a tradition, one her folks looked forward to as much as Kari herself did. Whatever the rest of the week might be, Saturday morning was olly-olly-oxen-free. Her Mommy and dad didn't argue about The Bills in the mail marked URGENT. If their voices were loud, it was because they were laughing, or tickling Kari, or her dad was lifting her up over his shoulders, crying 'Let's throw her to the moon, Alice!' even though her mommy's name wasn't Alice. She liked it so much when her folks were laughing.

Kari stretched and looked across the bed. No Celia. Now where? Maybe she went home, Kari thought hopefully. There had been that awkward moment in the middle of the night when Kari had awoken to the distinctly unpleasant sensation of Celia chewing on her arm. And although Celia was really, really sorry again, Kari was more than a little tired of her friend's strange habits. She knew she was supposed to be tolerant of the differences of others, like Ms. Gordon had taught them in class, but this wasn't like having a different god or skin color. It was unsanitary to say the least, Kari knew her mother would say. Unsanitary--get the hand sanitizer! Celia was going to have to go home, if she had not already.

Kari scented the air like a questing hyena. Hmph--no smell of pancakes yet. Mommy must have overslept. Time to get her out of bed with a flying leap. They might grumble at first, but her folks were always glad it was Saturday too. Hey, maybe they could go to Grand River park today, too, and feed the ducks. It was a beautiful sunny day, full of possibilities.

Kari hitched up her pj bottoms and hopped out of bed. Her feet made no sound as she pattered down the hall to Mommy and Dad's room. The door was closed. But just as Kari reached for the door knob, the door opened and Celia squirmed out. She wiped her mouth with her hand but left behind a red smear. Kari heard her gulp, but Celia kept staring down at her dirty shoes, still covered with the mud and sticks from that shallow grave in the forest.

'What? What's the matter?'

Celia looked up at last, her eyes brimming with tears. 'Oh, Kari, I'm really, really, really sorry...'