The Edge of Tomorrow

“Another shot of adrenalin, Sarah.”

“One-two-three and wait.”

“Again…one-two-three and wait.”

“I think we have a pulse.”

“One more time.”

“There. He seems to be stabilizing,” Doctor Simon stated as he wiped the sweat off his brow.” He was clinically dead for less than a minute. I had another case similar to this one. The patient’s left anterior descending artery was almost completely blocked by plaque, but a small hairline passage sent a trickle of blood to his brain and saved his life.  Nonetheless his heart did stop beating momentarily.”

“Should I tell his family? They’re out in the waiting room.”

“Yes, please. I’ll be there in a moment. He hasn’t come to yet. It may be a while. The patient I spoke about remained in a coma- like state for nearly a week, but still Justin could come around anytime. There are no hard and fast rules. ”

“I’m on my way, Phil. I’ll just turn off the TV.” The nurse said as she stepped carefully away from the bed.

“You know leave it on for a while. The sound coming from the TV may stimulate his senses. Either way it’s not going to cause any harm.”

The small waiting room on the fifth floor of St. Agnes was just a few doors down from Justin Clarke’s room near the end of the hall. The room where family members  waited for good news, or bad, or none at all had a sense of sad abandon about it. Its tattered furnishings like the patients that populated the small hospital conspired to remind life was a transitory affair. Justin’s wife sat on the couch. Her hands steadily flipped through a magazine she had no interest in while his nineteen year old son stood by the window fidgeting aimlessly with the controls on the radiator below, as if he’d developed a new sport to pass the hours. Nurse Rodgers was a portly woman with with a pleasing demeanor. When she entered the room she felt a sense of relief. She didn’t have to report Justin Clarke had died.

“Mrs. Clarke?”

Paula quickly threw down the magazine. She was about ready to burst as the waiting for news was nearly as tormenting as any bad news could possibly be. She faced the the nurse. Kevin placed his hand anxiously on his mother’s shoulder. Their eyes grew with  anticipation as Sarah drew closer.

“He’s stable.” Nurse Rodgers said calmly. A small smile emerged on her lips.

“Thank God, and Dr. Simon too.”  

“It was touch and go for a minute and there’s still a hard road ahead but we’re hopeful,” she said calmly as she could as she looked directly into Paula’s eyes. “Dr. Simon will be here  in a moment to fill you and your son in on the details. Personally I want to tell you both  how happy I am that things are improving for Mr. Clarke.”

“Thank you, Nurse Rodgers. When can we see him?”

“When doctor Simon comes in he’ll let you know. Justin isn’t awake now and he’s been through quite an ordeal. He was actually clinically dead for a few moments.”

“Dear god.” Paula held her chest, as Kevin’s grip grew tighter. A realization grew inside her, in that moment she saw her future as a possible widow. The empty rooms the lonely nights spread out over year after unforgiving year. Even if their marriage wasn’t without its wrinkles what would become of her if something awful happened to Justin. And there was Kevin who seemed to need his father now more than ever since the sorry trouble with the police last year.

“I know. Mrs. Clarke. But he is alive, and with Gods help he’ll soon have a full recovery.”

Night fell on the fifth floor of St. Agnes hospital. Justin lay asleep on his bed. A monitor above counted his heartbeats in cool detached blue LED beams.  It was the only light in the room save for the small fluorescent light that glowed next to the monitor above his bed, and the trickle of light that spilled from the hallway by the door left slightly ajar. Justin’s mind shifted in and out sifting through memories and fantasies longing to break into stark clarity. The time passed strangely for Justin as if it were rearranged haphazardly. With a shudder his right eye slowly opened. Through groggy indifference it caught a small child a girl, perhaps she was twelve, standing in front of the door.

“Are you all right?” Justin said, his speech, hoarse and strained.

“I’m not sure. Mother said to be careful, not to stand too close to the edge of the pool.”

“You should be okay the pool’s still about a yard away from you.” Justin said as he drifted back to sleep.

When Nurse Rodgers entered the room the following morning Justin was still fast asleep.  She had hoped he’d awaken with the morning. She whistled causally while she checked his pulse and tended to his I.V. She wondered about death as she gazed at Justin for the briefest moment, what it was like, was it like anything, or was it nothing, an empty abyss.  She hoped it was something warm and enveloping. Recalling Dr. Simon’s passing words she reached for the remote and turned on the TV. Silly, she thought.

When afternoon came Paula and Kevin stood anxiously in front of Justin’s room. Paula dreamed when they opened the door they’d see Justin smiling and alert. He’d say ‘hello’ and they’d talk about a future filled with possibilities. But when the door opened Justin was still miles away. She looked on; his brown hair remained vibrant and fell just a bit over the side of the pillow. For a man of forty-five Justin looked young, like he was in his thirties.  The dichotomy was strikingly sad, a young man in such a precarious position.  Kevin walked to the edge of the bed and held his father’s hand. Another day alone with his mother he thought would drive him mad.

“Dad can you hear me?”  He called with desperation thinking of awful things. Things he didn’t want to think about. “Dad?”

“Did you see her? The little girl?”  The words fell from Justin’s mouth with confusion as Kevin stood smiling broadly. The relief he felt at that moment was as intense as any feeling he could remember.

“Dad we missed you. Mom did you hear him?”

“I heard him, Kevin.” Paula said as she walked over to the side of the bed, happy but stunned by Justin’s words. She grasped her husband’s hand tightly. “ Justin. Can you hear me?”

“Of course I can hear you. The little girl where did she go?” Justin said, his voice still

hoarse and strange sounding to Paula’s ear. His eyes looked clear past Paula and

Kevin.  “Oh there you are.”

“Did you see my parents?”

”Mom,” Kevin quickly interjected, “remember Dr. Simon said when he came to he might be disoriented.”

“I remember, Kevin. I guess I just wasn’t prepared for it.” Paula cried raising her hand in a demonstrative fashion.  “I thought he might have trouble remembering our names, or not knowing where he was, not this insidious delusion. Why he’s carrying on a conversation somewhere with someone as if he hadn’t had a care in the world.”

“Mom it will be okay at least his alive and speaking. He’ll be his old self soon. I’m sure.”

Kevin prayed the words were true as they fell from his lips. He knew his mother would drone on pessimistically because that was her nature. He felt like leaving the room, or pulling out his hair. He looked towards his father. “Are your parents arguing again?!” Justin cried loudly. Kevin and Paula eyes caught one another’s. They suddenly jumped back. Paula thought about a dark future. Kevin thought about the comforting past.

“I think so. They argue so often.” She said. The small child placed her hands at her sides.  Her small white summer dress bent with the wind.

“I don’t blame your dad. All that trouble your mother got into with Harrington.” Justin said  clearly. His eyes stared vacantly in the direction of the door. In his minds eye it was a warm summer day. He was lazily resting by a tree in the backyard that faced his neighbors pool.

“Harrington was a fool. Mother never really cared for him.”

“Harrington was a fool, but what about your dad? What was he supposed to do?”

“It will turn out they’ll grow closer in the end,” she said sadly.

”What do you mean?”

“JUSTIN FOR GOD SAKE JUSTIN SAY SOMETHING TO ME.” Paula shrieked through the hospital room.  Kevin was certain the entire fifth floor of the hospital heard his mother’s yell. He couldn’t leave the room now. The probable stares from the people in the hall who heard her deafening scream would be unbearable.

“Mom take it easy. Give him some time to get oriented, please try to be positive. Maybe if we’re positive it will help Dad.” Paula glanced at Kevin and felt suddenly proud of her son and shamed by her impatience.

“You’re  right, Kevin, forgive me. I’m over-tired and over-reacting. The three of us have been  through so much lately,” she said as she stepped away from Kevin,” and now this, what did I do to deserve this?”

“Mom it’s not about you. It’s about dad. You didn’t do anything.” Kevin said directly. Blonde strands of hair fell over his eyes as he tilted his head towards his mother.” You wouldn’t happen to know anyone named Harrington would you Mom? “ Again words slipped out that he didn’t think he’d say.

“Justin, really. Have you gone mad too? I can’t take another moment.” She cried and wondered if life would ever be the same again.

“Why so defensive, Mom? It’s not like you’ve been a saint.” Kevin could feel his blood boiling. He thought about his father lying on the bed below and tried to steady his nerves.  At that moment Nurse Sarah Rodgers stepped into the room. She guessed direct medical diplomacy was the way to handle the untenable situation she knew was quickly developing. She was tired. She wanted them to leave anyway. For a moment she thought how blissfully  peaceful it  would be if none of the patients had family.

“Mrs. Clarke, Kevin would you guys mind stepping into the waiting room for about half an hour, or maybe you’d like to grab some coffee. I have to change the sheets on Justin’s bed and write up his chart.” She smiled winningly, as she knew the pair would excuse themselves and leave the room without question and poor Justin and Sarah could get some peace  and quiet.

When night returned to Justin’s room his thoughts were cloudy. He sporadically watched the faucet in the sink across the room endlessly drip. His eyes turned toward the window with the blinds carelessly drawn. He knew he wasn’t home, yet he couldn’t remember home clearly, instinctively he knew there must be a home somewhere. His eyes met the door and suddenly green grass and sun imbued his strange view. Maggie appeared. ”I thought I’d stay out here till they were finished.” Maggie quietly said. Her head faced down toward the grass.

“You know they’re never finished. ” Justin said imagining soft grass beneath his feet. “It wasn’t always like this. ” She cried as she sat down on the grass.

“When wasn’t it like this? I can’t remember a time.” Justin said wearily twisting a blade of grass between his fingers. “Before he came to town, I remember, we had barbeques out here and mother was happier.”

“Maggie when you were a little younger your mom tried to keep things from you, lately she’s gotten careless, your dad too.”

“You lie.” Maggie shouted.

“Mr. Clarke. I have to check your temperature. This will just take a moment.” Sarah said firmly, as she drew close to Justin’s bed. “ There, just hold this under your tongue for a moment. ”She placed the small tube into Justin’s mouth.  Justin stared quietly at the wall.

She held the thermometer steadily in his mouth for what seemed like hours until the soft beep popped.  “Thank you, Justin. I’ll leave you to your company.”

“You lie and you talk about my dad like you’re his friend, but I know better.”

“I’ll see in the morning. Sleep well. I’ve got to get home and get some rest myself. Now if  you need anything just press the buzzer by your side and Nurse Randall will come in and help you.” As Sarah left the room she said to herself “Maggie?” and shook her head in disbelief.

“What are you trying to say, Maggie?”

"You wanted to be with my mother. That’s why you killed, Harrington. You were jealous. You wanted to kill father too.”

“Maggie I think you’ve been out in the sun too long. Maybe you should go home, and get some rest.”

“You think you’re clever. I saw you,” Maggie snapped.

“Now Maggie that’s crazy talk.” Justin felt anger growing inside him.

“You’re going to kill me too. You’re going to push me in the pool and I’m going to drown. That’s what’s supposed to happen.”

“Supposed to happen?”

“I know where the gun is. The gun you used to kill Harrington I’ll show you. You buried  it right over there next to that tree.” Maggie said as she walked towards the tree and  began digging with her small hands. She pulled out the gun.  Justin quickly stood off the  grass and walked steadily towards Maggie as she waved the gun mockingly in her hand.

“Maggie stop this. Stop this right now!”

Maggie ran holding the gun.

“Maggie!” Justin shouted again as he saw her getting closer to the pool. He leapt toward her. He watched Maggie trip and fall into the water. He picked up his pace. His heart began to pound as the edge of the pool drew closer. He saw her treading in the water right near the edge and the gun lying on the bottom of the pool. He stretched his body over the side of he pool and he held Maggie down till she stopped treading.  She floated silently in the still water.

Nurse Randall was the first to hear the steady sound that screamed from the monitor above  Justin  Clarke’s bed.  “Emergency stat CODE BLUE, ”she piped urgently into the receiver. She ran down the hall towards Justin’s room. She caught Justin breathing and jerking heavily in  his bed. She ripped off his gown. Dr. Lewis tore around the corner of the hall and  entered the room breathlessly.  He began pounding mechanically on Justin’s chest. Two men in white pushing a cart with equipment followed Dr. Lewis like fire into  Justin’s room. “Hurry!”  Dr. Lewis shouted. Justin was standing over the pool wildly shaking the water off the gun. Quickly, they attached wires to Justin’s chest. He chest flailed with each bolt. Sweat poured down his face. Nurse Randall was the first to notice Justin’s heart had stopped permanently. Dr, Lewis stood over Justin quietly.  They all stood silent as death under the cool electric fluorescent beam.

When Sarah Rodgers entered Justin’s room the following morning she saw the empty bed, the sunlit room. The small boxes of uneaten candies and the flowers that lined the windowsill previously had vanished. She turned toward the orderly, her friend Amy, the one who always seemed to talk just a little too much. Amy was busily changing the sheets on the bed. Sarah knew Justin had died the moment she walked into the room.

Regardless, she inquired. “Where is Mr. Clarke? Did they move him?”

“They lost him last night.”

“So sorry to hear the news, he was a young man, that poor wife and son of his. Just awful.”

“Kind of takes all the fun out of working in a hospital. Say did you catch The Edge of Tomorrow yesterday? It was a doozie. Turns out their next door neighbor Justin was fond of the wife.  Remember? She was having an affair with Harrington?”

“I knew it. I could kick myself for missing it yesterday.”

“Wait there’s more.” She continued in hushed tones.” So it turns out he killed

Harrington.”

“No!”

“Maggie knew where he put the gun. She taunted Justin. He held her down in their pool until she drowned. Right in their own backyard.”

“Unbelievable, what some of those TV writers come up it.”

“Bunch of crackpots if you ask me….”