An Astronaut's Destiny

Mark Nelson was stoic as he entered the NASA Houston living quarters for astronauts in training. He walked to his room, opened the door, and slammed it behind him. He dropped onto his bed and stared at the ceiling. “Damn,” he said as he smashed his hand against the wall. A several minutes later, someone knocked on his door.

“Who is it?”

“Anderson. Can I come in?”

Mark sat up on the edge of the bed and said, “I really don’t want to talk to anyone right now, Bill.”

“Let’s talk. I need to know how you’re doing.”

Mark reluctantly got up and opened the door. He looked somber. Bill walked in and asked him to sit down. He put his hand on Mark’s shoulder, “I’m sorry to hear that you didn’t get the pilot’s assignment for the Mars mission. I know you’ve been training hard for this past year.” Bill sat in another chair.

“Cripes, commander, this is a raw deal being the backup pilot. It’s like being the Vice President. I’m just going along for the ride.”

“Hey, being the backup pilot is still an important part of this mission. It’s a complex mission. I’ve been thinking about a key position we need filled. It will give you a significant role before we launch.”

He closed his eyes and shook his head.

Bill frowned, “Stop feeling sorry for yourself. You have a promising career ahead of you, don’t mess it up now.”

He sat and stared glumly at Bill. He didn’t speak for a few minutes as Bill waited for a response.

Mark said, “How can I be a part of the mission and make a difference?”

“Damn it, you aren’t thinking like a team member. I know you thought you were a prime candidate for the pilot’s position. However, you still have a few things to learn. Apparently patience is one of those things,” he added disdainfully.

Mark looked chagrined. “What did you have in mind for me?”

“How about being part of the mission launch team in orbit?”

“What does that mean?”

“You can check out the Asimov spacecraft launch preparations. You need to make sure we don’t have any glitches. I’d like you to be part of that team as an advisor. You know more than the launch specialists and any computer program. You know what’s important to us. That would be a valuable asset to our mission.”

Mark seemed to ponder Bill’s offer. “It sounds like a job the mission specialists can handle. Besides we have been making dry runs in the simulator. What can I add?”

“That is not the same as operating the actual spacecraft. Simulations are fine. We know they don’t always reveal important details. As good as our engineers are they aren’t infallible. Its’ my proposal to Flight Director Peterson, and he agrees that role will be your assignment. You will have final approval of the preparations. You’re selling yourself short, Mark. You have a lot to offer. We need someone with your training to take a fresh hard look at anything before we launch.”

He tried to smile, “Is it really that important?”

“Yes.”

He looked pensive.

Bill said, “Hang in there. It’ll get better.” As he opened the door to leave, he said, “I’ll talk to you again soon.”

* * *

Mark had a brooding look on his face as he sat and stared at the wall. After several minutes, he picked up the phone and called Judy, his wife.

She answered, “Hi, Mark. How are you doing?”

“Not great,” he said grimly. “I wasn’t selected as pilot for the mission. I have been assigned as backup pilot.”

“You are still going on the mission, right?”

“Yes,” he said vehemently, “but it won’t be what I worked so hard for. I just wanted you to know.” His voice trailed off as he said the last few words.

“We need to talk about this and what you are going to do.”

“They offered me a pre-launch leadership position that can be important. It’s not what I really want.”

“I’m so sorry you aren’t going to be the pilot, dear. It is still an important position, and a great opportunity.”

“Maybe it is.”

Judy was quiet for a few moments then started crying, “Mark, I know this has been your life’s dream. Don’t let this mess up your career. You have so much going for you.”

“Okay, Judy, I’m going to give it a try.”

“Good, I’m glad to hear that.”

“I’ll call later. Goodbye,”

“Goodbye, darling, I love you.”

* * *

Mark called Anderson, “Bill, I’m calling about the assignment we discussed. I’ve given it some thought, but I’m still pissed about being back-up. I’ll try the assignment.”

“I’m really pleased you are willing to try it. Let’s get together and work out the responsibilities you’ll have. How’s that sound?”

“Okay.”

* * *

Mark transferred from the space plane to the space station shuttle. The shuttle pilot and Mark rendezvoused with the space station. It was parked in orbit a few kilometers from the Mars spacecraft, the Asimov. Mark met the mission launch team leader, James Schreppler. They went to a conference room to discuss Mark’s role in the launch mission. He knew Anderson had talked to Schreppler and told him about the new assignment.

Schreppler didn’t smile as he shook his hand, “Welcome aboard, Mark, or should I say Launch Advisor?”

“James, I’m here to help you and your mission specialists prepare to launch the Asimov. I may have changes in procedures and systems checks. Those changes will help assure that the Asimov is as flawless as possible.”

Schreppler’s voice cracked, “We have been going by the book on launch preparations. Our mission specialists are the best.” He frowned and stared hard at Mark, “If you find any problems, you talk to me, not the mission specialists.”

Mark replied, “I still have the last word on what happens here. If you have any complaints, take them up with Anderson or Peterson.”

“Okay, you’ve made your point.” Schreppler snorted. “Now let’s review the syllabus on my tablet computer. I’ll copy it to your tablet after we finish the review. Later I’ll introduce you to each of the mission specialists.”

* * *

Mark sat in his cabin for several hours reviewing the syllabus Schreppler had given him. “Damn it.” he said aloud, “I should be the pilot on this mission.” He stared vacantly at the syllabus as he incessantly tapped his fingers on the tablet. He finally picked up the tablet and left his room abruptly. He stomped down the hall to meet with the mission specialist, Dave Henderson. Henderson was responsible for testing the crew’s environmental systems.

Dave sat at his desk intently focused on his tablet. As Mark approached, he dropped the tablet on Dave’s desk. The sudden noise caused Dave to flinch.

“Dave, why in hell do you have the life support system check list so unorganized?”

His jaw dropped and he stammered, “I thought it made sense to me and it was reviewed by our team.”

“It’s a piece of crap. You don’t have the alarm systems set up properly to warn the crew of impending problems. The most important warnings need to be first.” He glared at Dave, “With this setup, our crew could be dead before they knew they had a problem.”

Dave shook his head, “Geez, I had no idea we were that far off. I would appreciate your input to make it right.”

Schreppler approached the men as they were talking. “I need to talk to you in private, Mark … right now.”

Mark frowned. “Okay.”

They left Dave staring after them. They entered a conference room and Schreppler slammed the door shut. “Damn it.” he said as he glared at Mark. “I told you that you were to see me if you have any problems. You may have been trained as an astronaut, but I have been working with mission teams for years.”

Mark stood very close to Schreppler’s face and stared intently into his eyes, “I don’t want you running interference and slowing my efforts. I’ll keep you informed. But I’ll not get your approval to discuss problems with procedures or mission specialists.”

Schreppler snarled, “If you want to play it that way, you’d better be right. If you give my mission specialists trouble, I’ll make you wish you hadn’t. I have a rapport with these people and I have their respect. Even if you are trained as an astronaut, you’ll have to earn theirs.”

“All I ask of these people and you is cooperation to do the best job possible. They need to earn my respect if we are going to have a successful launch preparation.”

* * *

Mark was fuming as he returned to his room. He sat at his comm station and contacted NASA in Houston. When a communications specialist answered, he said, “This is Mark Nelson and I need to talk to Commander Bill Anderson as soon as possible.”

A short time later Anderson answered, “What’s up Mark?”

“Are you alone so that we can talk?”

“Yes.”

“I’m running into some resistance from Schreppler. I think it will impede my efforts to fine tune the launch.”

“Why aren’t you getting along?”

“I think Schreppler is bull-headed.”

Bill was quiet for several moments. “I think you both are bull-headed. You’re going to have to work out this conflict between you. The success of the launch depends on everything going right. How are you going to handle the situation with Schreppler and the mission specialists?”

Mark pondered the question for a while, “I’ve got to start over with Schreppler and try to get him on my side.” He forced a laugh, “I guess I’m taking my frustration out on everyone else. I’ll try to work with these people.”

“Okay, that’s what I expect. Do it.”

* * *

Mark used the comm and contacted Houston. He asked to be patched through to Judy. He told her what had happened since he arrived at the space station.

She replied, “We all understand that you are frustrated and disappointed. You can bounce back if you decide to make it work.”

He smiled, “Judy, you’re right I can make it work.”

“I wasn’t going to say anything with the troubles you have been having. But you need to know.” She paused, “I’m pregnant.” There was an awkward silence. Then he said, “Holy cow, we weren’t going to let that happen especially because of the Mars mission.”

“I know, but I thought you would be happy about it. I must have missed a pill. We’ve talked about starting a family.”

“Judy, I don’t need this right now.”

“I’m sorry you feel that way, Mark. I want you to be happy.”

He snapped, “I’ll be happy when the Asimov successfully launches.”

She started crying, “I hope so, sweetheart. Goodbye.” She disconnected.

He shook his head and sadly stared at the comm.

* * *

Mark walked to Schreppler’s office. He saw him working at his computer. Schreppler didn’t hear Mark approach.

“James,” He called to get his attention.

Schreppler snapped around and frowned. “What in hell do you want now?”

“I know I have been a SOB since I got here. I feel my job is to get the best out of the specialists.”

He just stared at Mark, not speaking for a while then said, “You’re going to be butting heads with me and my people?”

Mark looked down, shook his head and said, “I see myself as the coach and I have to be tough at times. But we need to work as a team. I’ll work closely with you and your mission specialists. Let’s focus on the job.”

Schreppler grimaced, “I’m disappointed that you don’t recognize we already have a good team.” He stood up, and scowled. “You’re not going to make this easy are you?”

Mark shrugged, “No one said it would be easy.”

* * *

Schreppler called a meeting with the mission specialists. After they all took a seat, Schreppler said, “Mark wants to discuss our launch preparations and tests.” He nodded to Mark.

Mark cleared his throat, “I suspect by now that you have probably heard I’m going to be a hard ass. I think that’s what it is going to take to make this launch safe and successful. I’m not going to be tip toeing around your feelings. You do you job right and we will get along fine. We will still work as a team.”

Schreppler looked angry at Mark, but said, “All right people, let’s get to work.”

Mark scheduled meetings with each of the mission specialists to review their procedures. After completing the revisions to the syllabus, he and each specialist boarded the Asimov to test their documentation. The process ran into several temporary road blocks. He suggested changes and convinced the specialists they were needed.

Mark met with Schreppler and said, “We’re making progress. I have found several areas that the team can improve upon. After a few heated discussions, they realized that my changes were appropriate.”

“The team has worked diligently to accommodate your recommendations. You don’t seem very grateful.”

“I’m getting what is needed. That is the bottom line. Only a few systems checks remain before the Asimov is ready for the mission to Mars.”
Schreppler turned away gritting his teeth as he left.

* * *

Mark called Houston and contacted Judy, “I hope you aren’t still upset with me. And I hope you are feeling well with your pregnancy. I’m getting my act back together.”

“Mark, I have some bad news.”

“Bad news, what’s wrong?”

She sobbed, “I had a miscarriage and we lost the baby.”

“Oh my God, Judy, are you okay?”

“Yes, I’m recovering without complications, but the loss of the baby is so painful.”

“What happened?”

She sniffed, “The doctor said it was just one of those things. He couldn’t make a diagnosis. He said that I can likely get pregnant again without any problems.”

“I’m so sorry, sweetheart. I know you are disappointed and I really am too. I wish I could be with you right now. That just isn’t possible. When I get back and when you are ready, we’ll try again, okay?”

“Okay,” she sobbed, “I’m glad you want to try again.”

“I love you, Judy, and please call me soon so that I know you are okay.”

“All right, dear, goodbye.”

After disconnecting, he groaned and stared at the wall. A tear trickled down his cheek. He still had work to do and would not be able to be with Judy for some time.
* * *
Mark knew that he still needed to meet with Dave Henderson on the environmental systems. He caught up with Dave at his desk. “Hi, Dave, are you ready to tweak your documentation and testing?”

“I have made some revisions and maybe you will find them okay.” He looked at Mark for a positive response.

Mark looked at Dave with a crooked smile and laughed. “You mean that garbage you first gave me?”

Dave smiled at Mark’s humorous jab. “No, I’ve spent a considerable amount of time revising the documentation and testing as well as the warning sequences. I hope I have made it meet your requirements.”

They reviewed the documentation and Mark made several suggestions to prioritize the warnings. When they finished, he said, “This is what I wanted to see. Copy your procedures to my tablet. It’s time we go over to the Asimov and check this out. Are you ready, Dave?”

“Okay, let’s go.”

“We need to get Schreppler to go with us. This is our final check on the Asimov.”

He talked to Schreppler for a few minutes. “James, I’ve been thinking. Now that my job is nearly complete, I feel more relaxed and confident that we will accomplish the mission goals. I now realize I owe the team an apology. They have performed excellently and I haven’t been easy to work with.”

Schreppler looked surprised. “That’s an understatement. But I’m glad to hear you say that. It might be a big boost to morale if you were to tell the team how you feel now.”

Mark nodded and smiled, “You’re right. Let’s do it.”

After the team gathered, Mark said. “I have been thinking about what we have accomplished here and we are about finished. I think as a team we have done an excellent job.  I want you to know that I appreciate your professionalism and tolerating my hard-nosed behavior. I feel a bit embarrassed about how I have treated some of you. My excuses are just that. I hope that each of you accepts my heartfelt apology.”

Some of the team members briefly smiled at him. A few nodded half heartedly.

“I can understand that some of you may still feel I have been too difficult. I’m sure that once the Asimov launches, you will all be very proud of your role in its success.”

* * *

Schreppler joined Mark and Dave to check the Asimov’s environmental systems. After they put on their space suits, they boarded the shuttle to rendezvous with the Asimov.

They boarded the Asimov at the auxiliary airlock. They removed their helmets to be more comfortable in the cabin. Mark started through the documentation and testing with Dave using the tablet. Schreppler looked on and commented occasionally on some detail.

“Dave,” Mark said, “now let’s go through the warnings for cabin pressure and cover egress through the airlock. The changes we made in the airlock controls and warnings need to be tested. Before we do that, we need to put our helmets back on and pressurize our suits.”

They completed their suit checks and verified the suit communications were working. Mark said, “Let’s begin with the airlock and test it and its system warnings.”

Mark moved to the main airlock and read the digital readouts for the condition of the airlock. “According to your documentation, Dave, before opening the inner hatch, the air pressure in the airlock must be equal with the cabin pressure. I see it is.”

Mark moved the control to open the inner hatch. He swung the hatch wide open. He grabbed a handhold and pulled himself into the airlock. “I want to see if any changes we made affect the suited astronaut.”

Dave said, “Okay, I’ll shut the inner hatch and pump out the oxygen. Then you can manually open the outer hatch from within the airlock. I’ll check the remote controls for the outer hatch later.”

Dave depressurized the airlock. “The readout is now showing no pressure in the airlock. Open the outer hatch, Mark. The indicators show outer hatch is now open. The warning signal is chiming rapidly as it should to indicate the outer hatch is open.” Dave silenced the warning signal to avoid its distracting noise.

Using the convenient handholds, Mark approached the open hatch. He examined the door seals and latches. As he reached out to close the outer hatch, a small piece of space debris traveling at a very high velocity ricocheted around the airlock and just missed him. Immediately another piece of debris struck the right side of his suit. It passed through his chest and struck the inside of the airlock.

Mark was choking, “I’ve been hit by something and it has pierced my suit. I’m losing oxygen and blood.” He lost consciousness before he could close the outer hatch.

Dave replied, “Hold on Mark, I’ll close the outer hatch and pressurize the airlock as soon as it is closed.” He looked desperately at Schreppler. “I heard objects hit the inside of the airlock and they left a few dents in the airlock wall. Damn, it seems to be taking far too long to get the outer hatch closed.” He called to Mark, “Mark, are you okay? Speak to me.” He didn’t answer.

After several minutes, Dave was able to open the inner hatch. He stared at Mark floating and unmoving. Blood was splattered on the walls of the airlock.
Schreppler helped Dave bring Mark into the cabin. Dave then closed the inner hatch. Schreppler immediately removed Mark’s helmet and his own helmet. Mark was not breathing. Dave removed his helmet and looked at Schreppler.

“Help me, Schreppler said. “‘Quick, grab a respirator from the first aid locker.” Dave handed him the respirator and Schreppler strapped it over Mark’s face and turned it on. He examined Mark’s suit for punctures and found one on each side of his chest. Copious amounts of blood were draining out of the punctures.

Schreppler said, “Let’s get his suit off. Grab some large first-aid patches and gauze pads from the locker to put over his wounds.” They removed Mark’s suit. Using the gauze pads, Dave applied pressure to the wounds to slow the blood loss. He wiped off the excess blood and quickly applied the first aid patches to his wounds.

Dave looked worried. Mark did not show any signs of life.

Schreppler opened Mark’s eyes and the pupils were fixed and dilated. “Dave, find a stethoscope in the first aid locker. Grab the portable defibrillator while you’re there.”

Dave placed the stethoscope on Mark’s chest. He listened a few moments, “I can’t hear a heartbeat.”

Dave turned on the defibrillator and handed Schreppler the shock pads. “Get clear.” Schreppler placed the pads on the sides of Mark’s chest and triggered the shock. Mark’s body jerked with a spasm. Dave listened again with the stethoscope and shook his head. Schreppler tried several more times boosting the voltage each time without success.

Schreppler put the pads away and looked pained, “We’ve lost him.”

Dave shook his head, “I can’t believe it happened so fast. There was no warning from NASA debris tracking that we had a debris threat. Apparently, the debris field pieces were too small to track.” He looked at his hands covered with Mark’s blood and tried to wipe most of it off.

They both stared at Mark’s body in shock. To give his body some dignity in death, they replaced his suit and helmet.

Schreppler said, “Later we will need to check the Asimov for possible damage from other debris strikes. It appears that Mark was the victim of a debris field orbiting earth.”

He called the space station and reported the accident. He said they would be returning soon with Mark’s body. The mission specialists were in shock as they watched Schreppler and Dave carry in his body.

The next day Schreppler addressed the mission specialists, “Team, we were going to return Mark’s body to earth. His wife, Judy, said that he would have preferred that his body be left in space. But that would pose a hazard to other orbiting objects. She has planned a memorial to be held in Houston.

“Over the last several hours, I have been in contact with Director Peterson and Commander Anderson. The Asimov crew came up with an idea to honor Mark. Judy thinks that is an excellent gesture. They want to take his body with them to Mars and bury him there. To transport him, they will place his body in one of the external storage compartments.

“I know we had some struggles to please Mark. But we still have to admire his dedication to the Mars mission.”

Schreppler bowed his head and couldn’t hold back the trickle of a few tears as they ran down his cheeks. He looked up at the team, but didn’t bother wiping off the tears.

-- By Louis R. Hathaway